Living where it all overlaps

It took every fiber of my being to press the sent button to call you. I looked to the heavens and asked the good lord to shine down. It was cloudly and my heart was on my sleeve. These things dont seem to happen in the movies good guys always win. The feelings in my heart are pure for once in my life. My ex wife and I didnt have it nor did any other relationship. You are my best friend and the owner of my heart. I hope and pray your well. What happen?!?! its beyond me. I have stood in the shadows swallow my pride and watch my self die slowly. No hatred at all toward you nothing but good thoughts and memories. I cant look at our photos in fear of crying like my daughter did that first night she stayed with me alone after her mother left.



Part of me wants to know and part doesnt. I felt pure and wanted. Your family took me in and that for me was huge for mine isnt that way. Every night i look up at when we have a cresent moon i see your smile and not meaning in a sappy love way but more of straight from the heart. I recall you first smiling at me thru the can pole walls of the hut you made. I was sold from that point forever more. Moving on? not even crossed my mind. I feel like love is a once in a life time thing and if you got it you bust your ass to keep it. I know we did. The ending isnt the way i wanted. My car broke down 3 summers ago. I was flat broke with no way to call you. I lived with my brother who was a nightmare alone. I recall looking for pennies walking 4 miles to the bank to get two quaters to call you and never got an answer for almost a month.


The drive was in me walking in the heat knowing in the back of mind that id hear from you and that fuel would make it all better. Too many signs for me to just let all this go. I have been humble to not bother it too much but the lyric in the song the wander by johnny cash sticks out "I went out wandering with nothing but the thought of you" sticks out. That lyric has been my salavation for the past 3 years. You were my fairy like in the game legend of zelda who gave link his hearts aka life back. Now the fairy is gone.

This time of year is really hard for me for i knew halloween was your holiday and i recall saying to myself when you made the trail for the kids that one year. It was pretty grassroots and put together organically but had almost 200 kids show up. I saw the smiles you put on the faces of them. I was in love with you enternally at that point. You ora can make the black and white world color again. God really put his magic on you.

I wouldnt change nothing about you. Now here I am brutal reality has set in and Im alone in a house with no power,rotton brother,and nothing but memories. Its hard to go on with this on my heart. I dunno if i ever will hear from you again. Your always in my heart and I love you enternally Tabitha Raynette Belue aka gods own prototype for happiness. amen


Forever in debt to you and love enternally
Jason Wallace Robinson